Yes, it's an unusual thought, but... what do we really know about the actual relationship between Santa and Mrs. Claus? Between Santa's annual one-night tour and the other 364 days he spends within the obscurity of his secret base, there's not much to go on. Mrs. Claus herself is often depicted as the cheery, stereotypical, subservient 1960s housewife, always smiling and always prepared with a plate of freshly baked cookies to whet Santa's considerable appetite. The question is, is Mrs. Claus really happy in her relationship? How does Santa contribute to the quality of their marriage?
The first thing that springs to mind is Santa's sleigh ride on December 25th. Not only is the sleigh roomy and comfortable, it's drawn by flying reindeer; one of which has a glowing nose. Santa is frequently illustrated soaring through the sky on his sleigh, silhouetted by the moon. Pretty romantic, right? So, where is Mrs. Claus when all of this is happening? Does Santa even ask her if she wants to come along for the ride?
After doing some research, I discovered that the Claus marriage was given a thorough examination in the song "Surabaya-Santa" from Jason Robert Brown's musical "Songs for a New World". Read the lyrics here.
Surabaya-Santa's portrayal of the Claus relationship raises some important concerns. We must take into consideration that not only is Mrs. Claus stuck in an isolated area with no surrounding civilization, she most likely has no social life aside from her conversations with elves. Santa, apparently, neither shaves nor exercises, which would understandably irritate Mrs. Claus after a length of time.
Where we might find hope that Santa's perceived generous nature would play an important role in his marriage, keep in mind that Santa isn't generous to everyone; he dictates which children will or will not receive presents, even though it could be argued that the most ill-behaved of children would benefit from some special attention. If Santa's love for children is so conditional and lacking in consideration, chances are that he's a bit of a control freak with his wife.
What can we take from this? Don't be a Santa Claus. And don't marry one, for the sake of your own sanity.