We've recently discussed tips for writing a love poem, love letters, and confessing your feelings in a letter, so it was quite a coincidence that reader Renee's website had the perfect, unique gift to tie in with it all: an old fashioned romantic message in a bottle, available here in many different styles.

Having never seen anything like this before, I was taken by the pure aesthetic beauty of each bottle's shape and color-tone. Imagine having your love poem or letter delivered on rolled parchment, bottled and encased as if it came straight from the Renaissance! Knowing that such a gift exists is enough to make a single blogger, like myself, wish there were someone special to give a bottled love poem to!

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Here’s a concept I had never considered: one of Loveqube’s recent visitors arrived here after performing a web search on the phrase “write a love poem to yourself”. I felt disappointed knowing my blog wouldn’t provide them the answers they were hoping for--but no longer! By popular demand, the how-to’s of writing a love poem to one’s self will now be revealed!

Given that writing a poem to yourself may seem weird, imagine the benefit such a poem could have on your self-image and self-esteem. You could make several copies, fold them up, and leave them in places you know you’ll find them later: in your car’s glove box, on the kitchen counter, in your desk, in the restroom, and even next to your pillow (leave some Swedish Fish for yourself while you’re at it). If anyone happens to find your "hidden" poem before you do, they won't know that you wrote it to yourself--it defies logic! Such is the brilliance of a love poem written to one's self.

When writing a love poem to yourself, be sure to refer to my tips for writing a love poem; use that information with yourself in mind as the recipient! There are many, many ways to write a poem to one's self. Here are a few examples:

1. The Epic Ballad. Write a poem detailing your own real or fictional adventures. Hold nothing back--be as serious or as ridiculous as you desire! Try expanding on your biggest interests; for example, if you like cute, fuzzy animals, you might depict yourself soaring through the air saving helpless squirrels from the clutches of evil. Your favorite food, according to your poem, could give you superhuman powers. Alternately, if you're going the serious route, try casting your every day experiences in a heroic light. Perhaps the way you endure the arduous journey to work each morning is a demonstration of your boundless courage. However you write your Epic Ballad, be sure to flatter yourself!

2. Pure Admiration. It isn't a crime to appreciate your own qualities. Write a list of everything you like about yourself, from the color of your eyes to your captivating personality. Then, use these qualities to write yourself a poem as if you were your own secret admirer. Here's a short and cheesy example:

Your writing skills are so profound
That readers make a pleasant sound
When visiting your blogging page--
Qupid, you are all the rage!

Hmm... that made me feel pretty good!

3. What would we do without you?. Have you ever felt that you're under-appreciated? Now's the time to write yourself a poem about it. Tell yourself everything that would be missing if you were to leave. You could even beg yourself to stay.

4. Self Encouragement. Write as if you were a distant admirer seeking ways to get closer to you. What would you do just to make yourself smile? Then, think of all the ambitions you've been putting off, and incorporate them into your love poem. Maybe you would go back to the gym or sign up for that class you've been wanting to take. Ah, the things that we'll do for love! This type of poem in particular is great for being made into several copies and left around.

If you happen to write yourself a love poem and don't mind sharing, please do share in the comments section!

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Reader VioletPlanet asks: why is sex often mistaken for love?

Dear VioletPlanet,

There are a few aspects involved with the answer to this question. The first is that love is commonly mistaken for many things; this has much to do with our early childhood experiences as well as media influence. For example, the strictness that certain adults enforce upon themselves, and others, may very well be traced back to the expectations of their parents. We don’t need impressive credentials to observe the way that culture and child-rearing shapes people. During the youngest moments of our lives, we’re like baby birds reaching out for nourishment. A baby bird doesn’t question whether or not it will be fed the right food--it simply expects it. Much the same, as toddlers and young children, we don’t question what love is--we just expect it to receive it. In some cases, the emotional nourishment that children believe they are receiving isn’t nourishment at all. This often results in confusion as to what love is.

Without a clear example of a healthy relationship, we may be left to piece together a picture of love based on impressions from television shows, movies, songs and music videos. We can gain an awareness of the behaviors in an adult relationship without understanding the reasoning, or amount of sense, behind them. Based on such a vague understanding, we’d think that love is some kind of strong feeling that makes us “unable to live” without someone, or that we’d “think about them all the time”, as so many popular songs would suggest. Chances are that the first feeling that comes along and resembles these notions is what we’re going to call love. It doesn’t have to involve sex, but if it does, we might easily confuse sex with love.

A more scientific explanation revolves around a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin is sometimes released during sex by both men and women. When oxytocin is released, it magnifies feelings of attachment and the desire for closeness; it’s conducive to cuddling. Oxytocin is also released by mothers during childbirth, perhaps creating the powerful bond between mother and child. Understandably, the effects of oxytocin might create a deep emotional connection between two people who aren't actually well suited for each other in a relationship. Beware the oxytocin!

I hope you found this explanation helpful, and I thank you for the question!

Until next time,

Qupid

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You don’t have to be a modern day Shakespeare to write an effective love poem. The effort that you make in writing a poem—fumbling with words, struggling for a good rhyme, and putting yourself out there emotionally—has its own significance, and the recipient of your poem will most likely recognize this. The question isn’t whether you should try your hand at penning romantic prose; it’s how to best go about doing it. Here are some tips to help your love poem take on its best form:

1. Never underestimate the power of a thesaurus! Whether you’re stumped for suitable words or simply trying to keep your poem from becoming redundant, a quick trip to Thesaurus.com can save you plenty of time. Throw a common adjective, such as “beautiful”, into the thesaurus, and you’ll be rewarded with a wealth of colorful alternatives: radiant, ravishing, angelic, sublime, and resplendent are just a few examples. Don’t be afraid to experiment!

2. If you’re having difficulty rhyming your words, use Rhymezone.com--it’s an excellent way to explore your options.

3. Try to avoid doing “the Yoda”. While it isn’t always easy to do so, making your poem mimic the flow of real speech will give it a polished feel. A line such as, “So in love with you, I am!” would work well for Yoda, but creates an awkward bump in human poetry.

4. Incorporating memories unique to you and your recipient adds sentimental value and helps distinguish your poem from others. Where did you first meet? What has he or she done to make you laugh? What things do you see, or do, that make you think of them? What special moments have you shared? How has this person changed your life?

5. To give your poem that extra kick, try writing about things you might do for your recipient if there were no limitations. Where would you take them? What kind of a world would you create for them? What kind of exciting things would you do together? It’s okay to let your imagination go wild!

6. Try different styles of poetry. An acrostic poem, for example, uses the first letter of each line to spell a word or message. You might write an acrostic poem that spells your recipient’s name or the name of a special occasion. A haiku is a poem with three lines; the first and last lines have five syllables, and the second line has seven. It doesn’t need to rhyme. The haiku may sound a little odd, so here is an example I just wrote:

Cookie Monster

scent of baking dough
wobbling eyes alight with love
me doth want cookie
Although the haiku is brief, it can be powerful, and its brevity makes it excellent for a small, romantic note, perhaps accompanied by a hand picked flower or flower petals. Plus, if they don't already know, you'll get to tell them that it's a haiku.

As with anything, you'll become better at writing as you spend more time doing it, so if you're initially daunted by the idea of writing a love poem, allow yourself time to grow. Let your mind run free--scribble down as many ideas as you can without judging how good or bad they are, and then pick the ones you like the best afterwards. And don't forget that your effort alone counts!

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With all the commotion about the book and movie "He's Just Not That Into You", I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if I flipped the whole idea around--so I did! The result, ladies and gentlemen, is finally here. It's called "He's Just That Into You". Instead of forcing women to realize that men find them completely unappealing, "He's Just That Into You" makes desperate leaps to provide (mostly) unrealistic examples of what men do when they're that into you. Basically, it's free, and it won't make you cry, so it's a gazillion times better. And, yes, a gazillion is a lot. Here are a few ways you'll know if he's that into you:

1. He's just that into you if he builds you a cake. In the movie "Napoleon Dynamite", Napoleon's classmate Pedro aspires to take unreachable dream girl Summer Wheatly to the Prom. "Maybe I'll build her a cake, or something," remarks Pedro, who soon builds one of the most beautiful cakes known to mankind. The lesson here is, ladies, that if a man is willing to build you a cake before having ever spoken to you, he is just that into you. Don't think it could happen? Ask this guy, who built a cake with the lettering, "Prom??" on it before his friends informed him that he was copying Napoleon Dynamite. (Click on the link to watch YouTube footage of what happened next.)

2. He's just that into you if he tells you that you're his density in front of all your friends. I mean, if he tells you that you're his destiny. George McFly got nervous and messed up on the first try--so what? Ladies, if a man can't speak properly when talking to you, he is just that into you. The fact that he doesn't care who overhears such a bold confession is a sure sign that he's been thinking of you for quite a while, or is being blackmailed by a scary alien from the planet Vulcan. Either way, you'll at least get a few dates out of it.

3. He's just that into you if he kisses you even though you haven't brushed your teeth for a hundred years. Remember the story of "Sleeping Beauty"? Well, there was no way she could have brushed her teeth during those one hundred years of slumber, so you can just imagine what her morning breath was like. If a guy is willing to lay one on you even though your breath reeks of the last century, he is just that into you, and is most likely your Prince Charming.

4. He's just that into you if he rigs your favorite video game with a surprise "marriage proposal level". As you can see for yourself, this one really happened! He even simulated the "Just Married" vehicle with all the junk flailing along behind it. Kudos to that guy, who is obviously just that into his fiancee! And finally...

5. He's just that into you if he acquires super powers, creates an alternate persona, and wears spandex just to get next to you. Anyone can get bitten by a radioactive spider, but only a truly smitten man will design his own alter-ego and spandex costume--and then rescue you in it.

If you've been inspired to think of your own "He's just that into you" ideas, please feel free to share them in the comments section!

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