February 17, 2009

He's Just That Into You

With all the commotion about the book and movie "He's Just Not That Into You", I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if I flipped the whole idea around—so I did! The result, ladies and gentlemen, is finally here. It's called "He's Just That Into You". Instead of forcing women to realize that men find them completely unappealing, "He's Just That Into You" makes desperate leaps to provide (mostly) unrealistic examples of what men do when they're that into you. Basically, it's free, and it won't make you cry, so it's a gazillion times better. And, yes, a gazillion is a lot. Here are a few ways you'll know if he's that into you:

1. He's just that into you if he builds you a cake. In the movie "Napoleon Dynamite", Napoleon's classmate Pedro aspires to take unreachable dream girl Summer Wheatly to the Prom. "Maybe I'll build her a cake, or something," remarks Pedro, who soon builds one of the most beautiful cakes known to mankind. The lesson here is, ladies, that if a man is willing to build you a cake before having ever spoken to you, he is just that into you. Don't think it could happen? Ask this guy, who built a cake with the lettering, "Prom??" on it before his friends informed him that he was copying Napoleon Dynamite. (Click on the link to watch YouTube footage of what happened next.)

2. He's just that into you if he tells you that you're his density in front of all your friends. I mean, if he tells you that you're his destiny. George McFly got nervous and messed up on the first try—so what? Ladies, if a man can't speak properly when talking to you, he is just that into you. The fact that he doesn't care who overhears such a bold confession is a sure sign that he's been thinking of you for quite a while, or is being blackmailed by a scary alien from the planet Vulcan. Either way, you'll at least get a few dates out of it.

3. He's just that into you if he kisses you even though you haven't brushed your teeth for a hundred years. Remember the story of "Sleeping Beauty"? Well, there was no way she could have brushed her teeth during those one hundred years of slumber, so you can just imagine what her morning breath was like. If a guy is willing to lay one on you even though your breath reeks of the last century, he is just that into you, and is most likely your Prince Charming.

4. He's just that into you if he rigs your favorite video game with a surprise "marriage proposal level". As you can see for yourself, this one really happened! He even simulated the "Just Married" vehicle with all the junk flailing along behind it. Kudos to that guy, who is obviously just that into his fiancee! And finally...

5. He's just that into you if he acquires super powers, creates an alternate persona, and wears spandex just to get next to you. Anyone can get bitten by a radioactive spider, but only a truly smitten man will design his own alter-ego and spandex costume—and then rescue you in it.

If you've been inspired to think of your own "He's just that into you" ideas, please feel free to share them in the comments section!


  1. One time, I was visiting a friend's grandmother back in high school. She was in the hospital and was having so much trouble that she couldn't even brush her own teeth. Her husband stayed with her at the hospital, and rather than allowing the nurses to assist her, brushed his wife's teeth himself. My friend's grandmother smiled after he left and leaned in to both of us and said, "You have to get yourself a man like that. You know he really loves you if he's willing to brush your teeth for you." That really always stuck with me. Of all the things that someone can do for you, that type of stuff doesn't come up in young-girl fantasy.

    When I met my fiance in person the first time, one of the first questions I asked him was if he would brush my teeth for me if I couldn't do it myself. After only a second of bafflement over why I would ask such a question, he unflinchingly nodded and said, "Of course." * smile *

  2. So the teeth brushing thing does have a basis in reality! What a unique question to ask a potential lifetime partner. A girl once asked me if I would still love her if she was a green blob--not quite as realistic as the tooth brushing question, but along the same lines!

  3. Hey Violet! I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for stopping by!

  4. LOL no.3 is funny! I remember my friend told me that he didn't care kissing his ex early in the morning when the breath is worst! He really loved her.

  5. He is that into you if he talks to you and rather spend a few nights a week with you over his TV shows.

  6. Haha, thanks guys! It's good to have more visitors--I need to start writing in here again!

  7. Lamaworks, I can't imagine ever placing a TV show over a woman! When that happens, it's a sure sign that she's being taken for granted. I guess Tivo can help save relationships!

  8. Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a mans last romance.

  9. Relationships are quite complicated one has to face when in trouble, but it's also not as bad as one would be led to believe in it.Just try to brush away all those misunderstandings and believe in the fact of making-up that relationship all you have to do is to start knowing what really went wrong and what made two humans who loved each other in depth to part their ways, is it because of money mis-management or something else . You can always find the answer here.

    Love and Relationships